New Girl

My bad days are few and far between, but they do still come, the difference is, now, I can step away from my bubble and look at each day, good or bad, as a blessing. Even at their worst they are nothing compared to what they were. I was never able to get out of my own head before. (I have medication and loads of therapy to thank for that (and beaucoup hard work!)) If I had never hit that pothole yesterday, I would not be able to appreciate the amazing day that today was, nor would I appreciate the friends and family that are my backbone. It was the little things that made the last twenty-four hours so special. And good news is approaching on the job front! I’m finally getting an honest chance to follow my dreams. It’s ‘bout damn time.

I said it before but Ill say it again:

2010: my life fall apart.
2011: I painstakingly put it back together again.
2012: I’m making it my bitch.

This year is promising and beautiful. I feel refreshed and renewed. I put the past behind me last year and I got nothing but clear skies ahead. Eat my dust. Watch me shine.

My goals for this year include:

• work in a confectionery!
• learn how to drive
• acquire a passport
• visit Niagara Falls (the Canadian side!)
• refresh my digital life, found HERE
• read more books
• get healthy, lose pounds
• learn how to cook
• move into my own apartment
• get good grades
• let my photography shine
• breathe New Orleans
• express gratitude every single day

Where’s love you might ask? Love is a way of life.

Ain’t gonna rush it.

I’m already following through with almost all my goals. Now if only someone would bring my bestie back from Thailand already! Counting the days!

How high is this ‘high road’?

Altitude kills.

I need to stop blaming myself for your idiotic decisions and stupid mistakes. It is NOT my fault you are ruining your life. Maybe we had a little something to do with shaping each other but not enough that I should have pity on you. And not enough that I’ll let you ruin mine. You’re a grown ass man for goodness’ sake. The only person I can save is myself.

And I’m doing a damn good job at it. Sad to say, but there is more than one man in my life that needs saving.

Every day this same thought runs a marathon through my thirsty skull: I have completely wasted my intelligence.

Some days I even think it would be easier if I were born dumb, at least then the guilt would be a great deal lighter. Oh, what’s that saying? ignorance is fucking bliss. I’m smarter than most but I dare you would never guess. I would call myself pathetic, though, I’m better than that now; I just have a lot of catching up to do.